


Reignite

by Ceata88



Series: Spirit AU [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: He gets better, M/M, dying still sucks even if u get revived, jack's struggled with depression for years, nothing too graphic but there is kind of character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-19 20:36:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11321247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceata88/pseuds/Ceata88
Summary: Jack recalls the three times Gabriel died, only to be brought back by his phoenix spirit.The first was the worst. The second Jack never talked about. And the third was... hilarious.





	1. Headshot

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to completely finish this before posting but there's been so much radio silence from me I apologize.
> 
> The third one is in the works but Imma go ahead and give you guys the first two
> 
> A couple of people requested this SO! This is for you guys. Enjoy the angst and minor comedy (gotta make jokes somewhere) 
> 
> Warnings for this one: As you can tell by the title there is an injury of that nature but the description is short. Let me know if I should list anything else.

    The first was the worst.  
  
    Jack still remembered it clear as day. Ana did too. She always mentioned how helpless she felt watching from her scope. Eyes focused on the wrong thing.  
  
    They _thought_ the mission was done. The god program was shut down, most of their enemies along with it. Soldiers were picking off the remaining few around the perimeter. Gabriel was celebrating outside, gripping Jack’s shoulder and holding him far closer than he should.  
  
    To this day they never found the culprit. One second Gabriel was whispering something dirty in Jack’s ear. The next, blood exploded from the front of his head. It hit Jack in the eyes, his cheek, trailing down to his collar.  
  
    It took too long for his shock to wear off. Those few seconds were the only head start the attacker needed to vanish. Even with all their teammates and Ana’s trained eye.  
  
    As soon as he came to, Jack dragged Gabriel to a safer position, shouting his name the whole time.  
  
    “Commander? Gabriel?” He set him down and knelt next to him. A clean headshot, no exit wound. He checked for a pulse, not believing his own senses when he didn’t feel one.  
  
    “Gabe, please.” Jack lightly took hold of his face. “Not like this. Not like this, you asshole.”  
  
    Despite the tears on the edge of his eyes he kept telling himself not to panic. He managed to keep calm.  
  
    Then he noticed the shards of ice on his shoulders, moving down his arms.  
  
    Fear suddenly weighed in his chest like a ton of bricks.  
  
    No. Not like this. This couldn’t be happening. What would the team do without him?   
  
    What would _he_ do without him?  
  
    The future seemed to suddenly open up into an empty chasm. Nothing but black. He couldn’t picture a single scenario where Gabriel wasn’t present.  
  
    “Gabe...” His voice broke and he tightened his grip  
  
    Then out of nowhere the wound sparked.  
  
    That was the only warning he had before Gabriel’s head burst into flames. Jack shouted and jerked his hands back. The fire had burned clean through his gloves. He tore them off, using his ice to banish the heat.  
  
    The flames seemed to vanish as quick as they came.  
  
     _“Jack.”_ Ana shouted. _“What’s going on? Is Gabriel...”_  
  
    He had to wait for the fire to die down before he could check for a pulse again.  
  
    He found it, faint and erratic, but it was there.  
  
    “He’s alive,” he breathed into the line. “I need a medical team here right now.”   
  
    Gabriel’s breathing was steady but slow. He was still out cold, no surprise there. Jack made sure to keep his head steady and covered the wound to stop any bleeding.   
  
    It only took the team three minutes to arrive, but the wait was agony. Jack let them force him back, unsure if the numb sensation was from his ice or the shock.   
      
    Probably the shock, considering Ana had to drag him toward the ship. He doesn’t remember the flight back, or the shower he took, or the hours spent sitting outside the ER. The team could do nothing but wait outside while the doctors worked.  
  
    Ana draped a blanket over his shoulders before rubbing them.  
  
    “Before someone notices your cold shoulder.” It was an attempt at a joke but her smile didn’t last very long before she sat next to him on the bench. Reinhardt sat on his other side and even Torbjörn sat next to him. None of them spoke, they just leaned against each other as they all stared at the light above the door.   
  
    Jack fell asleep during the long wait, only to be shaken awake by Ana. The nurse’s words were a haze, Jack only able to pick out certain things.  
  
    Gabriel was alive, at least, the removal of the bullet had gone fine, but his condition was... confusing. All the medical staff was convinced he should be dead, judging by his injuries, but his system was running just fine without life support.   
  
    Jack cracked a joke about super soldier genes. At least that was easier to explain than, “Hey my boss has a magic spirit that brought him back to life, probably.”   
  
    But if that was the case why hadn’t she healed him yet?   
  
    They weren’t even allowed to see him at first, not until he was moved. More agonized waiting, a dusting of ice showing up on the blanket. Ana did her best to brush it away.   
  
    Seeing him didn’t make it any easier. The bandages around his head almost made him look like a different person. They had a breathing mask on his face, although his lungs seemed to be working fine. Perhaps it was just a precaution until they got a better grasp on his condition. The beeping of the heart monitor was steady, but every sound rang in Jack’s ears like a funeral bell.   
  
    He couldn’t stand there long. Only a few minutes in and he ran to the bathroom to puke.   
  
    There was no telling if the next few days were easier or worse. Every morning he woke up, assuming he slept at all, he’d ask for an update. There never was one apart from maybe taking him off some of the equipment. His system was running fine, at least, but he wouldn’t wake up.   
  
    The fifth day Jack slipped in there alone. Ana often hated him doing that but he wanted some time to be in there without someone trying to tell him everything would be okay. They didn’t know that.  
  
    In fact, not even his spirit did.   
  
    He tried to see the phoenix, see what she was doing, but the bird was nowhere to be found. Whenever Jack was in the room he could see Whitefang pacing around, ears down.   
  
    “What’s going on?” Jack forced himself to ask.   
  
     _“Can’t see her. Can’t hear her.”_ The wolf sighed.   
  
    “Is that bad?”   
  
     _“Hard to say. I imagine she has to concentrate in order to fix this injury but...”_  
  
    “But?”  
  
     _“Our energy is not infinite, Jack. With an injury like this, it is possible she could destroy herself before she fixes it.”_  
  
    Jack’s heart stopped. Everything went numb for a few moments.   
  
    “He’ll be fine, right?”  
  
     _“I do not know.”_  
  
    That wasn’t what Jack wanted to hear. He knew it was true but he didn’t want to hear it.   
  
    He had no choice but to leave the room. His abilities were making it far too cold.   
  
    It just kept getting worse. With Gabriel out of commission that left him in charge. Ana was a blessed shoulder to help carry the pressure but she couldn’t make any of the big decisions. They were still in a war. They still had work to do. Jack spent far to long staring at a map trying to piece together exactly what Gabriel would want them to do.   
  
    “Jack, he wouldn’t have put you in this position if he didn’t trust you.” Ana rubbed his shoulders. “Breathe. Don’t over think it. You’re better at this than you give yourself credit for.”   
  
    He knew she was right. He accepted the tea she gave him and chugged it down before getting back to work.   
  
    Any chance he had free time he found himself visiting Gabriel. The first couple of times he sat there in silence. After that he either brought something to occupy himself or he talked. Maybe somehow the phoenix could translate all of this. Maybe.   
  
    “I still can’t believe how they ended the third series.” Jack muttered as he scrolled through the text on his tablet. “I mean, seriously, her death came out of nowhere. It was so stupid. Suddenly she can’t live with the guilt?”   
  
    Gabriel didn’t stir during his rant. A part of him was thankful for that.   
  
    He loathed when his team had to head out on another mission. Sometimes it took a reminder that people were looking to him for orders now as they searched the city for survivors. It wasn’t something that got any easier as time passed. It took them five days to clear the city. After that he was allowed to leave while medical teams took over.   
  
    The second he got back he headed for the medical bay. The doctor stopped him, saying he had a report on Gabriel’s condition.  
  
    He woke up.   
  
    Jack ran before the doctor could finish explaining. Gabriel was awake. He was alive. He was _okay_.  
  
    Jack burst into the room. With the noise he made he almost expected Gabriel to sit up. Instead he just turned his head and glared.  
  
    “Jack what the fu-”  
  
    “Gabe.” He ran over to the bed. “How are you feeling?”  
  
    “Stop shouting,” Gabriel cringed. “Fuck.”  
  
    Jack took a breath to calm his nerves.” How are you-”  
  
    “As I was saying, Captain.” The doctor appeared in the door. “He is awake, but due to the damage he still can’t use many of his motor skills.”  
  
    Jack looked back at Gabriel. “Seriously?”  
  
    “Yup, otherwise I would have punched you for throwing the door open.”   
  
    He blinked before chuckling. “At least you feel well enough to cuss me out.”  
  
    Gabriel studied his face for a moment before glancing at the doctor. “Can we have a few minutes?”  
  
    “Sir, we still need to go over–”  
  
    “Ten minutes, doc.”  
  
    The man sighed and nodded. The door closed.  
  
    It was nothing but silence for a while. Jack leaned against the bed, hand on his forehead. Something was stuck in his chest. Whether it was laughter or tears he couldn’t tell.  
  
    He wound up using both.  
  
    Suddenly he was laughing, louder and louder, and couldn’t seem to stop. The hand over his mouth moved to his eyes when the tears showed up.   
  
    His free hand gripped Gabriel’s arm. There was no telling if he could feel it, but at least it was warm.   
  
    “God, Gabe. I’m so glad you’re okay.” He sniffed and took a deep breath.  
  
    “Don’t count your chickens, Jack.”  
  
    “Your spirit is healing you, right?”  
  
    “Can’t say for sure. Haven’t heard a word from her. Just... nightmares. And one weird dream about cats.”   
  
    Jack forced back his laughter at that. “So no clue what’s going on? Do you remember anything?”  
  
    Gabriel cringed. “Uh, look. Honestly, I forgot who Ana and Reinhardt were when I came to. This bullet fucked me up. Don’t think I’ll remember how I died.”  
  
    Jack frowned, lifting one of Gabriel’s fingers. It made sense. He’d glanced at some of the x-rays. “But you remember them now, right? How much of me do you remember?”  
  
    His boyfriend kept his eyes squinted shut. “It’s all bits and pieces Jack. Might get them back. Dunno. Can’t remember why your hands are so fucking cold though.”  
  
    “Uh, wolf spirit. You can feel that?”  
  
    “Yeah, can’t seem to move them though. Feel like static.”   
  
    There was a tap on the door. “This is your minute warning, Captain.”  
  
    Right. They could do details later. Jack needed to let the doctors work.  
  
    “I better go. Have a mission report too. I’ll be back this evening.”  
  
    “Bring a TV or something.”  
  
    He laughed as he stood before he leaned over and gave his boyfriend a quick kiss.  
  
    The surprise on Gabriel’s face confused him.  
  
    “What the hell?”   
  
    Jack frowned. “What?”  
  
    “You just kissed me.”   
  
    “Uh, yeah, we’re dating.”  
  
    “What?” Somehow his eyes got even wider. “No... seriously?”  
  
    Jack was torn between being disappointed and finding this cute. “Is it that surprising?”   
  
    “You’ll have to explain to me later how I got this lucky.”  
  
    Jack could feel the blush running from his neck to his ears. “Huh? Come on Gabe, I wouldn’t–”  
  
    The doctor interrupted them when the door opened. Jack was quick to excuse himself in case his red face gave him away.  
  
    Jack brought a holocaster on his next visit, along with his own tablet. When there was nothing to watch he would read, either stories or news. He tried to keep Gabriel from asking about work, but it always came up one way or another. Too much going on in the world.  
  
    Other times, Gabriel would just try to piece his memory together.  
  
    “When did we hook up?”  
  
    Jack glanced up from the mission reports. “About three months ago.”   
  
    “Okay, so a little less shitty that I forgot. Did I ask you?”  
  
    “Uh, well. I tried to assist you on a mission because I thought you were going to die and got blown into a wall. When you dug my ass out I just kind of kissed you.”  
  
    “So a ‘I’m so glad you’re alive’ type thing?”  
  
    “Yup.”  
  
    “...did I kiss you back?”  
  
    Jack’s laugh was quiet. “Yeah.”   
  
    “Oh, good, worried I might have chickened out like the coward I am.”  
  
    Jack blinked and lowered his tablet. Gabriel’s eyes were fixed on the ceiling.   
  
    “What are you talking about?”  
  
    His boyfriend glanced over. “Did I not tell you? I’ve pretty much wanted to kiss you since I thought we’d be separated after SEP.”   
  
    Jack’s eyes went wide. He remembered that conversation. It started out as an argument over whether or not they were actually friends. It ended with them promising to find each other when the war was over.  
  
    “That long?” He forgot to lower his voice. “It took you that long to say something?”  
  
    “Oh, shut up.” Gabriel pouted. “What about you, huh? How long did you want to kiss me?”   
  
    Jack opened his mouth but paused when he realized the answer.  
  
    “Uh, got the idea when you helped warm me up the first time. It got way worse when I found you shirtless and overheating.”  
  
    “Hah,” Gabriel grinned. “You’re even worse than me. Oh, wait, damn. No wonder you were so bitter at the idea of me using you as an AC unit.”  
  
    “Well I didn’t want to say anything.”  
  
    “You could have made out with me then and I wouldn’t have argued.”  
  
    “How was I supposed to know that?”  
  
    “Hm, good point.”  
  
    The conversation fell after that. Jack went back to reading as Gabriel dozed off.  
  
    Not all of Gabriel’s recollections were as pleasant.   
  
    A couple of days later he tore out of his restless sleep. Jack dropped his tablet, trying to keep Gabriel steady.  
  
    “Gabe? Hey. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”   
  
    His boyfriend was breathing too quick, eyes wide. “I had a sister.”  
  
    “What?”  
  
    “I had a sister, Jack.”  
  
    He froze, not sure what to say because this was news to him. Gabriel had never mentioned her before.  
  
    “Damn it,” Gabriel couldn’t calm down. “I had a sister. How could I forget that?”  
  
    “It’s not your fault.”  
  
    “She had just graduated. Fashion design. On a trip to Europe when...”   
  
    Oh.  
  
    Realization hit Jack like a train. Gabriel never answered to the reason he really joined SEP. It was always a quick-fire joke meant to end the conversation. Eventually Jack stopped asking.   
  
    He pulled Gabriel into his arms as he sat on the bed. The man wouldn’t stop shaking. Jack doubted his cold temperature would help, but maybe it could ground him.   
  
    “ _Lo siento, hermana. Lo siento_.”  
  
    “Shh, Gabe, I’m right here. You’re right here.”   
  
    Gabriel didn’t stop muttering out apologies. All Jack could do was hang onto him until he fell asleep again.   
      
    He didn’t mention it the next time Gabriel woke up.   
  
    Over the next few days Gabriel regained control of his muscles. Physical therapy frustrated him to no end, like always. Jack told him to stop bitching. Gabriel smacked him in the face.  
  
    “Whoops, sorry, still figuring this out you know?”  
  
    Ana wouldn’t stop laughing.   
  
    The doctors were still baffled by Gabriel’s recovery. Neither of them would explain the reality behind it. Jack just hoped they didn’t file it under all the other studies done on SEP soldiers.   
  
    “Finally spoke to my spirit.” Gabriel was in the mess hall, enjoying as much junk food as he could get his hands on.  
  
    “Is she okay?” Jack asked more for Whitefang’s sake than his.   
  
    “Yeah, tired. Headshot is hard to recover from. Who would have guessed? First two weeks she had to keep me breathing while she put it all back in place. Guess I’m lucky it didn’t leak out of my ears.”   
  
    That was the last mental image Jack wanted while eating chili.   
  
    “Is she coming back soon? My wolf will literally not shut up about it.”  
  
    Gabriel laughed. “I’ll ask her next time.”  
  
    Jack could practically feel Whitefang wagging his tail.  
  
    Things were smoother after that, at least. Gabriel complained about the scar that might be left behind. His beanie never left his side. He still struggled with memory, people mentioning things he swore couldn’t have happened. Jack let him take back over as Strike Commander, although he stayed nearby just in case.  
  
    Gabriel sat at his desk, running over reports to catch up on everything. Jack studied the lines on his face, his eyebrows, the color of his eyes. Couldn’t keep himself from leaning down to kiss his temple.  
  
    “I’m glad you’re still here, sunshine.”  
  
    Gabriel didn’t hide the smile on his face as he turned and pulled Jack into a proper kiss. “Yeah, same here, _mi luna_.”  
  
    Jack thought for a moment, that if they could pull through an injury like that, nothing else could slow them down.  
  
    How naive.


	2. Reckless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was going to put a summary for this but honestly the summary in the first three paragraphs so
> 
> The death in this is pretty vague, but let me know if I should list any warnings anyway

    The second time it happened, well, Jack never talks about it.  
  
    It had been his fault, after all.  
  
   _“Morrison, don’t do anything reckless,”_ was a mantra he heard hundreds of times over their communicators. It was a wonder he never learned.  
  
    “It’s three omnics.” He glanced over the rubble he was using as cover. He was scouting the perimeter while his team took out the crowd of them in the center of town.  
  
     _“I don’t care.”_ Gabriel growled. _“Mark ‘em down and move. There could be more and if you take them out now it’d just call reinforcements.”_  
  
    “Fine, got it. Moving–”  
  
    Something tugged at his instincts. He focused on his hearing, picking out the sound of a crying child. There were people nearby. He took a deep breath and focused harder. If he was going to get them out he needed a location.  
  
     _“Morrison, you better be moving.”_  
  
    “I located survivors.”  
  
     _“You wait for backup. That’s an order.”_  
  
    Jack understood that, but he wasn’t the only one to notice the sound. The three omnics all turned their heads in the same direction.  
  
    Waiting wasn’t an option.  
  
    Jack threw a flashbang to his left before dashing to the right. The omnics turned and fired at the noise. He dove closer, putting a pulse bullet into two of them before the third noticed. Its gun turned on him. He jumped out of the way, grinning before he moved forward. The omnic screeched as he latched on. The pulse rifle slipped from his grip. He put a hand over its eyes. The ice from his palm cracked as it spread over the metal. Another screech as glass shattered.  
  
    It finally threw Jack off. Static flew out of its face as it tried to determine his position. Jack snatched his side arm and fired into one of the openings he created. There was a sharp pop before the machine collapsed.  
  
    Jack collected his rifle as he ran over to where the survivors had to be. He traced the sound to a set of walls. One was collapsed against the other. Jack looked inside to see a mother and two children.  
  
    All three stared at him with wide eyes.  
  
    “Is anyone hurt?”  
  
    The kids didn’t seem to understand him but the mother did. She shook her head.  
  
    “I’m here to help. I’m going to guide you to a safer location. Can you all stay close to me?”  
  
    She nodded and whispered to the children. At least keeping them close would be easy enough with how tightly they clung to their mother. Jack waited until all of them were out as he surveyed the area for any activity. Right now it was still quiet.  
  
    One of the kids hesitated when they saw the omnics, but got a little bolder when they noticed it wasn’t moving. Jack kept his eyes around him, senses open as he guided them toward the road. He’d cleared the last area. His team should be moving in there. One of them could make sure these people stayed safe.  
  
    The area was still clear, but something was stirring around in the middle of his spine. He almost felt nauseous. Something was off.  
  
    They got about halfway when he heard something. It was a good ways back, but still close enough for him to see the five omnics headed onto the path.  
  
    He tugged the mother to the side, getting them all behind some cover. All three of them were staring at him in confusion.  
  
    “Listen to me,” Jack made sure to look her in the eye. “About a half mile from here my team is securing the area. Get there and they can get you to safety.” He leaned back to glance out. The omnics hadn’t moved much closer. “I’m going to keep them from following you. Stay low and close to cover. Can you do that?”  
  
    She nodded, pulling both of her children closer.  
  
    “Okay, wait for me to make some noise before you move, and don’t look back. I’ll be fine.” He flashed the kids a reassuring smile before he slowly moved away from the cover. He needed to get close enough so that he could draw them away.  
  
   _Whitefang, follow them._ He thought as he ducked down again. The closer he got the more he risked being heard.  
  
     _“Jack, that is not wise.”_ The wolf argued. _“You will be without my protection until I return.”_  
  
_I’ll manage. I have before._  
  
     _“You have the worst survival instincts.”_   Whitefang snorted but took off. He wouldn’t show himself unless he had to, but Jack didn’t want to leave those people without any kind of defense.  
  
    He readied his flashbang and set his rifle on the ground. The omnics were only fifteen feet away now, eyes scanning the area in different directions. A couple took a few steps forward.  
  
   _“Jack,”_ Gabriel said. _“You’re helping those people, aren’t you.”_  
  
    “They’re on their way to a secure area. I’m just keeping these omnics back.”  
  
    He could hear the sharp sigh. _“How many?”_  
  
    “Only five.”  
  
     _“Jack.”_  
  
    He didn’t listen to whatever lecture Gabriel was trying to give him. There wasn’t any time. He ripped out the pin and hurled the bomb into the air. He covered his ears for when it went off before darting out into the open.  
  
    All the omnics were looking up. Jack let the ice gather on his palm, hearing it crack in the air as it formed a point. Only one noticed him, but it was too late. His hand shot out, the sharp ice and his super strength cutting into its neck. Sparks exploded, alerting the others. Jack ducked away from the gunfire, using the rest of the omnic as a shield. He waited for that brief moment when they had to cease fire. Staying behind his armored covered he charged into one of them. Metal crunched together. He reached for its gun, ripping its limb off with it. At least now he had a proper weapon to fight back with.  
  
    If he could figure out how to use it.  
  
    The click of their weapons had him diving and rolling away. Bullets sent dust flying up behind him. He felt a pair of them cut across his leg, nothing serious but enough to make him bleed.  
  
    When he reached some cover he tugged at the mechanics on the limb, looking for whatever he could use to trigger the weapon. He pulled the cover off, barely making heads or tails of the wiring. He just tugged at a few of them, hearing the omnics getting closer.  
  
    The gun went off, shattering a stone near his feet. He almost jumped in the air but the shock quickly wore off as another grin appeared on his face.  
  
    He gripped the wires as he stood up. The motion startled the omnics, giving him enough of a widow to open fire. Bullets rang out, clanging into metal, cutting into their joints. It might not enough to take them down, but it’d certainly make them less of a threat.  
  
    The clip ran out too soon. At least one of the machines went down but that left three more relatively intact. Jack cursed and swung the arm out, knocking one head flying. The rest aimed their weapons.  
  
    Two bullets hit his shoulder armor before he dove back down. He pressed against the wall, now painfully aware of the injury on his leg. This was bad. He was too far to reach his rifle. It was only a matter of time before they moved close enough to reach him.  
  
    He couldn’t summon Whitefang either.  
  
    He looked up. Both omnics looked down. He held his breath.  
  
    Suddenly there were two shots. Both of their heads exploded into sparks and metal. Jack shielded his eyes from the debris as they rained down on his head.  
  
    He didn’t look up until he heard the omnics crashing into the broken wall behind him. He turned around and peeked over the wall to see Gabriel standing there, one of his shotguns resting on his shoulder.  
  
    He looked pissed.  
  
    Jack slowly lowered himself behind the wall again.  
  
    “Morrison.” Gabriel’s voice was low, his boots crunching against the ground.  
  
    Jack sunk even lower, debating if he should play dead. Maybe Gabriel would fall for it this time.  
  
    Too late, a hand grabbed his collar and hoisted him back up. Jack tore out of the grip, stumbling back until the pain in his leg got the better of him. He fell back on his ass, groaning.  
  
    “You dumb fuck.” Gabriel stepped closer and dropped his shotguns. “Hold still.”  
  
    Jack didn’t object to the healing flames against his leg, but he still couldn’t look Gabriel in the eye.  
  
    “Just five omnics huh?” His commander mumbled.  
  
    “I almost had it.”  
  
    “They _almost_ blew your head off.”  
  
    “Well they didn’t.”  
  
    “Only because I showed up.”  
  
    “Yeah, yeah, my fucking hero.” Jack ran a hand over his face. He foolishly glanced over to see the glare Gabriel was giving him.  
  
    “I told you to fucking wait for backup.”  
  
    “There wasn’t any time for that.”  
  
    “There never is for you.” Gabriel pulled his hand back and stood up. “What good are you going to be if you get yourself killed?”  
  
    “Better me than someone else.”  
  
    The sudden grip on his collar was tight. Gabriel jerked him forward so quick his breath caught in his throat.  
  
    “Don’t ever say that to me again.”  
  
    Gabriel shoved him back before moving to retrieve his shotguns. Jack just numbly watched for a moment, not sure what to say or do. It’s not like he didn’t know it was reckless, but what choice did he have? He agreed to do this job to save people. People needed his help. So what if he wound up dying trying to save someone?  
  
    He watched Gabriel who was now speaking into his communicator. His fingers curled and pressed into his palm.  
  
    Gabriel would probably wind up feeling the same way Jack did during that headshot incident.  
  
    Except Jack wouldn’t come back.  
  
    “Come on,” Gabriel turned to look at him. “We’re heading back. Ana’s going to finish up the scouting.”  
  
    “Yes sir.” Jack didn’t dare argue right now. Gabriel was irritated enough as it was.  
  
    Then he froze. That same sensation was still in the middle of his spine but now it was crawling up to his shoulders. He looked around and listened, hearing the sound of an omnic moving around. To their right. He glanced over just in time to see the thing looking at them from between a set of damaged buildings.  
  
    Jack didn’t even shout a warning. He grabbed Gabriel’s hood and jerked the man back. They both hit the ground when the gun went off, one much bigger than the last ones he dealt with. The sound of the shots was deafening to his hearing. Everything around him was ringing, but he didn’t hesitate to move. He snatched one of Gabriel’s shotguns. He was sure his boyfriend was screaming at him but he couldn’t hear a word of it. He couldn’t even hear the next gunshot. The bullet tore through his side, surprising him, but not enough to cut him off. He fired the shotgun twice, taking out the big gun on its shoulder, and then fired one more shot at its head. The shot went a little to far up, but the metal crunched under the force of the bullet and the omnic appeared to shut down.  
  
    He sighed and knelt to the ground, hand over his wound. Gabriel was certainly going to be pissed about–  
  
    His instincts were screaming again, worse than before. He looked up to see the omnic rebooting, its chest opening up to reveal a set of machine guns.  
  
    He didn’t hear Gabriel approach. He didn’t notice until Gabriel was hugging him close, covering him.  
  
    No, no no no. Was the omnic firing? His head was ringing to much by now. He couldn’t focus.  
  
    Time didn’t seem to move until suddenly Gabriel lost his grip and collapsed onto the ground.  
  
    Even then it was still a haze, a memory he couldn’t quite hang onto. His vision swam from the amount of blood. The smoke from the omnic’s guns seemed to shift into snakes. That cold numb sensation soon became painful, like shards of ice digging into his chest and his shoulders.  
  
    He gritted his teeth before he brought his fingers up to his mouth to whistle. He wanted Whitefang to tear that thing to shreds.  
  
    He swore he must have stood up, but everything after that went white.  
  
    When he came to he was in the medbay. The nurse was nearby, checking his monitors, but ran to fetch the doctor as soon as he was awake.  
  
    Jack barely had time to wake up before the doctor was mouthing off.  
  
    “I have quite a number of questions for you, Captain.” The doctor spoke while checking his injury.  
  
    Jack didn’t give a damn. “Where’s Gabriel. Is he okay?”  
  
    “By yet another miracle, yes. In fact he somehow recovered faster than you did.”  
  
    So he wasn’t dead. Of course he wasn’t dead. Jack still couldn’t get the amount of blood out of his head.  
  
    “So,” the doctor tossed something onto the bed. “Mind explaining this?”  
  
    Jack looked down at the object. It was a chunk of metal, wires sticking out of it along with a bit of tubing. Jack picked it up, rolling it around in his palms.  
  
    “Uh, what is this?”  
  
    “I was hoping you could tell me.” The doctor picked it up and turned it. The indent of teeth was unmistakable. “We found it jammed in your mouth.”  
  
    Oh. Whoops.  
  
    “Would you believe me if I told you I couldn’t remember anything?”  
  
    The doctor frowned. “That, I would believe. However I’m fairly certain you have a decent guess.”  
  
    “It’s classified?”  
  
    The doctor sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “It would only benefit you to tell me how your system actually works.”  
  
    “Sure, but I’d still need permission.”  
  
    He gave up, taking a few notes on his tablet. “Let me know if anything gets worse. I’ll send Reyes in.”  
  
    It took to long for those words to register. By the time they did the doctor already left. Jack felt panic rising up in this throat. He would have bolted, but if anyone caught him they’d just drag him back.  
  
    He didn’t want to see Gabriel. He couldn’t look him in the eye right now. Those bullets must have killed him. He was going to have to go through that whole mess again because Jack couldn’t–  
  
     _“Calm down, pup.”_ Whitefang said. _“This is not your fault.”_  
  
    “Like hell it isn’t.”  
  
    The wolf didn’t get to continue to lecture him. The door opened and Jack went rigid. Confusion swept over him when he saw Gabriel was smiling.  
  
    “Jack,” his boyfriend moved closer but didn’t reach out. Jack’s gaze fixed on the bandages peeking out from his collar. “You alright? Took you a while to come to.”  
  
    Jack opened his mouth to reply but all he could hear was his blood pounding in his ear. It moved faster and faster. The longer he stared at Gabriel the more the hospital room faded out.  
  
    “Jack.” Gabriel’s hand against his face was gentle but Jack still flinched away. “Hey, look at me.”  
  
    He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. “I’m sorry.”  
  
    “Jack.”  
  
    “This was all my fault.”  
  
    “Don’t worry about that right now.”  
  
    “You died, didn’t you.”  
  
    Gabriel narrowed his eyes. “Don’t worry about–”  
  
    “Didn’t you.”  
  
    He sighed, leaning back. “Yeah, fine. Had already revived when the team found us.”  
  
    “Was it bad?”  
  
    “Jack,” Gabriel took his hand. “Please don’t do this to yourself. I’m fine. It’s better than the headshot that’s for sure.”  
  
    “And the nightmares?”  
  
    “Later, Jack.”  
  
    He let out a frustrated sigh. He didn’t want to let Gabriel shove this to the side. Knowing his luck it would stay there.  
  
    But Jack was in an even worse state than him at the moment.  
  
    “Doctor said my back might scar.” Gabriel glanced at the door before he lit up his palm. “Thinking of getting a tattoo on it. Would phoenix wings be too much?”  
  
    Jack smiled at the distraction but it didn’t last. His mind kept drifting left and right, none of its destinations good.  
  
    “Jack,” Gabriel let go of his hand and moved the flames to his head. Only now did he notice the bandaging up there. “Do you remember what happened?”  
  
    “No, but considering I apparently bit a chunk out of an omnic it must have been wild.”  
  
    “Yeah, somewhat reconsidering letting you bite me now.”  
  
    Jack snorted. The gentle heat on the side of his head was making him drowsy. “Least it means we have a good tactic.”  
  
    “I don’t think letting you beat omnics with your teeth is a good strategy. Not to mention the possible dental bills.”  
  
    Jack laughed, his eyes fluttering shut. Anxiety still gnawed at his chest but right now he was too tired to do anything about it.  
  
    The next few days passed in a complete haze. Even when he recovered enough to be discharged he couldn’t make his mind focus. He spent too long staring in the mirror, at his teeth, wondering what exactly had happened. He kept his head down as he walked around the base, kept his smiles small. Even if he could control it now it kept feeling like if he smiled everyone would figure it out.  
  
     _Monster._ The word rolled around in his head while he tried to pay attention to what Reinhardt was telling him.  
  
     _This is all your fault._ The voice taunted when he noticed the dark circles under Gabriel eyes. The way he’d stretch his back, scratch at his shoulders. Jack wanted to help but he didn’t move. Gabriel probably didn’t want him to notice, and right now Jack didn’t deserve to touch him.  
  
    It was all his fault. He should have listened. He should have hung back. How many times had this happened?  
  
    What if Gabriel didn’t have that phoenix?  
  
    Still, he managed for a while. Managed to function while keeping everything else down. Some people noticed, of course, but he always passed it off as exhaustion.  
  
    The fourth day it caught up with him.  
  
    Not that he noticed. Not until he woke up and realized his alarm didn’t wake him up. He couldn’t remember cutting it off. Still the clock was reading 12:48 and he was pretty sure there was supposed to be a meeting today.  
  
    He stared at it, telling himself he needed to get up before someone found him, but he couldn’t move. All of his limbs felt numb. The tiny voice trying to motivate him soon died out.  
  
    Be better if he just disappeared.  
  
   _“That is not true.”_ Whitefang argued back.  
  
    Jack didn’t respond. He just kept staring at the clock, watching the time move by.  
  
    When the numbers reached 13:06 there was a sharp knock on his door.  
  
    It was Gabriel. “Morrison. I hope you have a good explanation for why you’re still in bed.”  
  
    He couldn’t will himself to reply. What would he even say? He didn’t have an excuse.  
  
    “Jack?” His tone became concerned. “You better not be dead in there. At least throw something at the door to tell me you aren’t dead.”  
  
    Jack forced himself to roll over. He glanced at the floor, seeing his boots. At least throwing them took little effort with his enhancements. The boot hit the door with a loud thud.  
  
    “Can I come in? Throw something else if I can.”  
  
    He stared at the other shoe. He didn’t want to. Gabriel had better things to do than look after him. That’s what started this mess in the first place. He had a mission to lead and he got interrupted because Jack had to run off and–  
  
    He tossed the other one.  
  
    Selfish.  
  
    He buried his face in his pillow when the door opened. Gabriel shut it behind him, taking slow steps over to the bed.  
  
    “Hard crash, huh?” Warm fingers ran through his hair. Part of him wanted to shove Gabriel away but he didn’t move. “Want to talk?”  
  
    Jack just groaned into the pillow and pulled away.  
  
    “Well I’m not leaving you like this.” Gabriel sat down on the bed. His communicator clicked as he typed.  
  
    “You should get back to work, Gabe.”  
  
    “Nice try, but I’m not leaving. At least not until I convince you to shower and go get something to eat.”  
  
    Jack moved even farther away.  
  
    “I’ll let Torb take over if you prefer.”  
  
    Another groan.  
  
    “You don’t have to talk to me Jackie. But I’m not letting you just lay in a dark hole all day.”  
  
    He figured that was fair enough. If he just headed to the shower this would be over with.  
  
    The most he could manage was rolling over. Gabriel was looking down at him, a soft smile on his face but his eyes were tired.  
  
    “Have you even been getting any sleep?” Jack said.  
  
    Gabriel frowned. “We’re not talking about me.”  
  
    “You said we would.”  
  
    “Yeah, when you’re not senselessly beating yourself up about it.” Gabriel shifted and turned. “Is that what this is about?”  
  
    Jack pulled the covers over his head. “It was my fault.”  
  
    “Doesn’t matter.”  
  
    “Yes it does.”  
  
    “No, it doesn’t. I’m alive. You’re alive. That’s what matters.”  
      
    “You shouldn’t have had to take that risk.”  
  
    “So what then? I should have let you become the bullet pincushion instead?”  
  
    “I fucking deserved it.”  
  
    Gabriel ripped the sheets clean off the bed. Jack sat up to chase them only to see them on the floor. His glare at Gabriel didn’t last long. His boyfriend pushed his shoulder into the wall.  
  
    “I told you to never say shit like that again.”  
  
    “No, you told me not to say ‘better me than someone else.’”  
  
    “Same concept. Same idea. Come on Jack, I know it isn’t you when you say shit like that. You get stuck in this self hating loop and keep convincing yourself that you’re only worth something if other people are using you. That the second you fuck up your worth has run out.” Gabriel let go of his shoulder and held onto his face instead. “I love you, Jack. I don’t care what stupid stunt you pull out there, I’m going to save you because I can. Because I want to. Because I don’t want to do any of this without you.”  
  
    Gabriel pressed their foreheads together. Jack could feel the heat curling through his nerves.  
  
    “As long as I have this phoenix I can come back. I don’t care what hell comes with it, I’ll take that risk because it’s worth it. You’re worth it. You want to know what my nightmares are about this time? Why I can’t sleep? It’s because every time I shut my eyes the only thing my brain conjures up is me being too damn slow. A second too late and you’re gone. I lost you and I can’t–”  
  
    Gabriel had to pause and breath. He pressed his lips together and shut his eyes.  
  
    “Yeah, you fucked up, I won’t lie and say you didn’t, but don’t do this to yourself. Don’t talk like you should have taken those bullets, because I won’t accept it. Not ever.” Gabriel glanced back up at him. “Got it?”  
  
    Jack swallowed, now aware of the lump in his throat. “Y-yeah. Got it.”  
  
    Gabriel smiled. “Good.” He kissed Jack on the nose before he pulled back and stood up. “I’ll go get you some food first okay? Already told the others you’re sick for the day so don’t worry about it.”  
  
    Jack couldn’t bring himself to say anything as Gabriel headed for the door. Shock still buzzed around in his mind and he was trying to keep himself from tearing up.  
  
    “Here, hang onto her for me.”  
  
    His gaze shot over to see the flames on Gabriel’s arm. They shifted into his phoenix who flew over onto the bed, standing right next to Jack.  
  
    Didn’t he need her with him right now? Jack opened his mouth to argue but Gabriel was already gone.  
  
    He’d never really been alone with the phoenix before, barely even saw her that often. The bird seemed to smile up at him as she hopped onto his lap and then his shoulder.  
  
    “It is nice to see you Jack.” Her voice had a musical quality to it as she rubbed her face against his cheek. The warmth was very familiar.  
  
    “H-hey... Should you uh, be out?”  
  
    “He will be fine for a while. Those enhancements of his make my work much easier.” She jumped onto his head. “If only I had magic to work on these sorts of problems.” She pecked at his temple.  
  
    Jack swiped her away but she only laughed before settling down.  
  
    “Is he really okay?”  
  
    “He is far more worried about you at the moment.”  
  
    “That doesn’t answer my question.”  
  
    “I think... it would benefit you both if you could share a room for a time. He’s almost constantly asking the A.I. for updates on your condition when he wakes up. And it seems like you could use the contact.”  
  
    Yeah, that wasn’t a terrible idea. It would at least make Jack feel a little better if Gabriel could actually get some sleep.  
  
    “He will lecture you about your decisions later.”  
  
    Jack sighed. “I know.”  
  
    “So reckless. You worry your spirit so much, you know.”  
  
    Jack glared up at her. “Who are you? My mother?”  
  
    “Am I wrong?”  
  
    He glared at her for a few more moments before he frowned. “No.”  
  
    He left her to her laughter as he slouched against the wall, waiting for Gabriel to get back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw yes it's the same doctor, he's going to be very tired by the end of this. I should probably give him a name but mmm


	3. Party Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least this one's like, way lighter than the last one haha

    The third time was...  
  
    Hilarious.  
  
    Not at the time, of course. At the time it had been nothing but panic and chaos, not aided by the fact that they were all drunk.  
  
    It was a party, a huge one. The entire base was in on it because they won! The crisis was over, for the time being at least. No sense in thinking about what came after it. Time to just get wasted with your comrades and take on whatever tomorrow had to give you.  
  
    Jack was glad everyone had enough alcohol in their systems not to notice how Gabriel wouldn’t stop leaning on him. At one point his boyfriend had an arm around his waist but no one said anything. Perhaps they didn’t notice. Or they didn’t care. Or Jack simply didn’t fucking remember.  
  
    At one point he, Ana, and Gabriel had wandered outside by themselves. They stood on an overhang, watching Gabriel dance to an imaginary song in his head. Ana had her phone out to record it.  
  
    He wandered just a little too close to the stairs. One drunken misstep was all it took. He stumbled once, twice, and then vanished down the steps. Jack was stunned for a moment before he broke into a fit of laughter. Ana ran closer to keep Gabriel in frame.  
  
    When Jack leaned against the railing, Gabriel was on the ground, face down.  
  
    “Oh god, did he pass out?” Jack snorted behind his fingers. His grip slipped on the railing and he almost fell forward.  
  
    “Wait until I show this to Reinhardt.” Ana kept smiling.  
  
    Jack put his hand next to his mouth when he shouted. “Hey Gabe! Have a nice trip?”  
  
    He and Ana fell into another fit of laughter.  
  
    Then, Gabriel’s shoulders caught fire.  
  
    They both stopped dead. Jack felt the alcohol drain from his system as his mind put the pieces together.  
  
    “Oh shit.”  
  
    Jack jumped clean over the railing. He managed to land on the floor but stumbled when he tried to run.  
  
    “Gabe?” He figured trying to get a response was useless. “Ana, can you tell what happened?”  
  
    She was squinting a lot as she ran down the steps. All too soon she had to pause, clutching her head. “Fuck. X-ray vision is the worst when I’m drunk.”  
  
    “But can you make out anything?”  
  
    “Maybe he broke his neck? Kinda looks like it.”  
  
    “Oh my god.” Jack almost fell over but knelt down instead. His grip on Gabriel was gentle, not sure if he should even move him. “What do we do? We can’t just leave him here.”  
  
    “We should get him to med bay right?”  
  
    “Any nurses not with patients are at the party. And we can’t let them find out about this.”  
  
    “Why not? Could be funny.”  
  
    “Ana.”  
  
    “Fine, fine. Let’s get him to his room. I’ll steal a neck brace for him to use while he recovers.”  
  
    “How? We can’t just drag him around we could make it worse.”  
  
    “Oh he’ll be fine.” Ana was already tugging him up by one arm. “That phoenix works wonders.”  
  
    Jack rolled his eyes but decided to help her, looping one arm around his shoulder. “If he has a permanent crick in his neck I’m blaming you.”  
  
    “Whatever, lets get a move on before the alcohol hits us again.” The pair moved back up the stairs. “And if anyone asks he passed out and we’re taking him back to his room.”  
  
    It seemed believable enough. The damage to Gabriel certainly wasn’t that visible apart from the bruise on the side of his face. Yikes, that looked painful. Jack turned his focus back to the stairs so he didn’t trip on any of them. First they had to make it through the party. If they could do that getting to the dorms should be easy.  
  
    To bad the first step was the hardest.  
  
    Stepping back inside drew the crowd right toward them. People trying to fill them in on things they missed. Reinhardt wanting to tell them a few more stories.  
  
    “Sorry guys,” Jack said. “We need to get Gabe to his room.”  
  
    “Psh, just toss him on the couch.” Torbjörn said. “We can take him later.”  
  
    Yeah, that wasn’t going to work.  
  
    “Listen, I’d say yes but if he’s going to wake up and puke I’d rather him ruin his own bedsheets.”  
  
    “Nonsense.” Reinhardt practically snatched him out of their grips. “It all makes for a good memory, yes?”  
  
    Jack shouted in alarm. Ana acted faster by straight up climbing into Reinhardt’s shoulder to try and free Gabriel. The crusader looked nothing but confused. There was no telling how drunk he might be. Reinhardt could drink more than anyone, but there were a lot of empty bottles.  
  
    “Rein, please,” Ana said. “Just put him down. We’ll take care of it.”  
  
    “You two are actin’ squirrely.” Torbjörn squinted.  
  
    “No we’re not, you’re drunk.” Ana argued, still tugging on Reinhardt’s arm. Finally the man complied, gently lowering Gabriel back down. Jack didn’t hesitate to grab onto him, stumbling back for a moment.  
  
    “Fine, fine,” Torbjörn waved his beer glass. “You two go on your adventure. Reinhardt and I are going to have fun.”  
  
    “Yeah, I bet you are.” Ana stuck out her tongue before she climbed down. “Make sure you play safe, eh Reinhardt?” She jabbed him in the ribs.  
  
    The crusader stuttered, cheeks going an even darker red. “N-now now Ana, that is not what he meant.”  
  
    “Dunno,” Torbjörn looked to the side. “Could be.”  
  
    Ana broke into a fit of laughter. Jack would have joined her if his almost-dead boyfriend wasn’t dangling in his arms.  
  
    “Ana!” He hissed.  
  
    “Oh,” she jumped. “Right. Gabriel. We need to go.”  
  
    Torbjörn snorted and shook his head but didn’t argue anymore.  
  
    “Do you need help my friends?” Reinhardt offered.  
  
    “No, nope, we got this.” Ana put Gabriel’s arm back over her shoulder. “Thanks.”  
  
    Reinhardt didn’t seem fooled by both of their forced grins. Jack still took the silence as his chance to move. The sooner they got out of this room the better.  
  
    A few more forced jokes and smiles got them free of the crowded space. A number of people were mingling in the hall but none of them seemed to take notice.  
  
    “Okay,” Jack muttered, squinting as he tried to map out the building in his head. “So we need to get up two floors. Fastest route is the elevator.”  
  
    “No, no,” Ana used Gabriel’s hand to point down the other direction. “There’s a stairway over there we can use that’s much closer.”  
  
    “Stairs are the enemy right now Ana.”  
  
    “What, can’t walk straight suddenly?”  
  
    They didn’t have time to argue about this. He nodded toward the direction of the stairs, deciding to follow her lead this time around. If nothing else that path would be more clear.  
  
    If anyone looked there way he flashed a smile but didn’t stop moving. He tightened his grip on Gabriel’s hand, searching for the faint pulse on the off chance it suddenly stopped.  
  
    Incredible, done in by a sniper, an omnic machine gun, and now the stairs.  
  
    Wouldn’t that be a story for the kids.  
  
    He stopped himself right there, not wanting to get to ahead in his thoughts. He didn’t have the right to think about kids at the moment. Their future was still up in the air.  
  
    He and Ana took their time up the stairs, almost falling back twice when Gabriel’s toes would catch on the steps. Every flight stopped with a much needed break to slow their hearts down from the constant panic.  
  
    “This is more stressful than that time in Scotland.” Ana huffed.  
  
    Jack only nodded in agreement as they moved up the next set of stairs.  
  
    Finally reaching their floor Ana eased the door open. The hall was clear.  
  
    “Can we take a breather? He’s heavier than he looks. I thought you were going to make him watch his diet.”  
  
    “Oh fuck off,” Jack helped her gently put him on the ground, leaning up against the wall. “I have no right to tell someone what to eat when tomorrow might be their last day.”  
  
    “He can’t even die.”  
  
    “Exactly, so his health is barely a factor.”  
  
    Ana blew a raspberry before sitting on the floor herself. “And what are you going to do when it comes time to carry him out of the church?”  
  
    Jack put his hands on his hips. “I can carry him just fine. Super soldier.”  
  
    “Then how about you carry him to his room and I’ll–”  
  
    “Hang on.” Jack narrowed his eyes.  
  
    “What?”  
  
    “What do you mean carry him out of the church?”  
  
    Ana stared at him for am moment, as if she couldn’t even remember she said that. “You know, marriage. Unless you’re going a less traditional route which is cool. I mean my husband and I–”  
  
    “We’re not getting married.” Jack accidentally shouted and snapped his mouth shut. He glanced down the hall to make sure no one heard.  
  
    “What?” She was squinting again. “Sure? I mean, me and the boys figured that with the end of the omnic crisis and all that. No better time to pop the question right?”  
  
    Jack sighed as he slouched against the wall. She wasn’t entirely wrong there. It wasn’t a surprise their closest friends assumed it would be going in that direction.  
  
    “There’s no telling what’s going to happen to us after this.” He mumbled and slid down the wall. He found Gabriel’s hand again, squeezing it. “Instinct tells me it’s not over, not really. There’s too much to do. Part of me wants to help but...”  
  
    “The other part says fuck it?”  
  
    “Yeah.” He started shouting again. “Fuck it. Fuck this. We saved the damn world can’t we just go... I dunno buy a farm somewhere and settle down. If I thought it would turn out like that I would have asked him the second that battle was over.”  
  
    Ana didn’t reply to that, she just watched him. Jack couldn’t keep his vision focused on any one thing for long.  
  
    “Wanted to save the world once. Found out the hard way it’s not as easy as just defeating a bad guy. Still, maybe we managed it, and suddenly I realize there’s still years of my life left.” He tilted his head back to look at the ceiling. “Dunno if I should keep trying or make a new goal for myself. I guess...” He turned to look at Gabriel. Despite the bruising on his face his expression was calm. “I guess I’ll just keep following his lead.”  
  
    “Gay,” Ana hummed. “You two have it so bad. Still, even if you’re stuck here you could still get married. Have a secret ceremony or something. Wear rings under your gloves.”  
  
    “You just want to be the best lady.”  
  
    “Well I wouldn’t object.”  
  
    The both laughed for a while before picking Gabriel back up.  
  
    “Down this hall and down a small flight of stairs for the commanders quarters.” Jack said. All their dorms were in a much fancier side of the building.  
  
    “I know where our rooms are Jack.”  
  
    “Well just in case your drunk ass forgot.”  
  
    With the look she was giving him he assumed she would have shoved him over if he wasn’t carrying half of Gabriel’s weight.  
  
    The reached the open area where the stairs were. Relief started to flood over Jack’s shoulders, although he knew this was probably only the beginning. They’d have to take Gabriel to the medical staff tomorrow to make sure nothing was permanently fucked up. He at least hoped Gabriel woke up by then.  
  
    “Mom?”  
  
    Both of them froze at the edge of the stairs. Ana dropped her grip immediately and Jack had to desperately keep Gabriel upright. He glanced over to see Fareeha standing in the doorway of her mother’s room. She rubbed her eyes with one hand, the other had a death grip on her rocket ship pjs. Jack once questioned if a ten year old should have those but Ana confirmed that Fareeha picked them out herself.  
  
    “Hey, we did not wake you, did we?” Ana crouched down and patted her hair.  
  
    “Sorta.” Fareeha squinted at Jack. “What’s wrong with Uncle Gabe?”  
  
    “Nothing dear, nothing.” Ana waved her hands as a distraction. “He just fell asleep is all. We were taking him back to his room.”  
  
    Jack’s vision was falling out of focus again. At this point he wasn’t sure if it was exhaustion or the alcohol still in his system. His metabolism should have flushed it out by now.  
  
    But still, when he tried to snap himself back to reality he stumbled to the side. He lost his grip on Gabriel. Everything seemed to move in slow motion until he heard the first horrible thump.  
  
    He couldn’t look.  
  
    Fareeha was staring at him. “Uncle Jack just dropped him down the stairs though.”  
  
    Ana whipped around, her hair almost smacking her face. Her wide eyes quickly turned into a glare. “Jack what the fuck?”  
  
    “Mom, what does ‘fuck’ mean?”  
  
    Jack couldn’t keep himself from chuckling. “Yeah Ana, watch your fucking language.”  
  
    “Shut the fuck up and go get your boyfriend you jackass.” Ana stood up.  
  
    Fareeha giggled. “Jackass.”  
  
    Jack was half tempted to keep the joke going, considering it was far too late to censor themselves, but with the glare Ana was giving him he decided against it. He scurried down the steps, thankful they were short.  
  
    “Ana you might want to check his bones again.”  
  
    He heard her shout in frustration before she hushed her voice, probably ushering Fareeha back into her room.  
  
    Jack crouched down, checking Gabriel’s pulse again. Still going. He sighed and ran his fingers over the bruise. “You’re going to have a terrible headache.”  
  
\------------  
  
    The next morning had Jack’s head spinning the second he regained consciousness. His hands floundered around, quickly figuring out this was not his bed. In fact he wasn’t on a bed at all. He forced himself to sit up, thankful that the shades on the window were covered, but it did little to cure his headache.  
  
    He glanced over to the bed to see Gabriel lying there. Jack couldn’t fully recall how he got there, or anything after. Gabriel fell down the stairs, broke his neck, fell down the steps again, and then...  
  
    Jack forced himself to stand up. He stepped over to Gabriel, squinting at the pair of shirts wrapped around his neck. Which of them thought that was a good idea?  
  
    This was a nightmare.  
  
    Jack reached out to undo the knot. He needed to get to the med bay and have them look over Gabriel properly. That, and maybe get himself some pain killers.  
  
    Just as he was taking off the second shirt thought Gabriel suddenly shot up. Jack could hear the sharp crack before Gabriel fell back down, shouting and curses.  
  
    “What the fuck?”  
  
    Jack’s hands shot out to keep him from moving. “Gabe? Gabe?” He winced from his headache. “Calm down a second.”  
      
    “What the fuck happened? Oh god. Head hurts. Neck hurts. Can barely feel my limbs.”  
  
    Jack put a hand on his forehead. The sensation seemed to calm his boyfriend down for a moment, although he was still breathing fast.  
  
    “You ah, kind of fell down the stairs... and broke your neck.”  
  
    That made his breathing stop. “ _Qué_?”  
  
    “You fell down the stairs and–”  
  
    “No, god, I fucking heard you. Are you serious? That’s what happened?”  
  
    “Yup. I think Ana video taped it.”  
  
    “Fuck me.”  
  
    “Maybe later.” Jack almost smiled until Gabriel lightly smacked his cheek. “Sorry.”  
  
    “Okay, okay,” Gabriel rubbed his faced, cringing again. “How did I get in here?”  
  
    “Me and Ana somehow thought it was a good idea to bring you here.”  
  
    “You drunk bastards.”  
  
    “At least we didn’t fall down the stairs.”  
  
    Gabriel muttered something behind his hand.  
  
    “Want me to get the doctor for you? I need painkillers anyway.”  
  
    “ _You_ need painkillers?” Gabriel’s glare was cut off by another wince.  
  
    “I’ll let the doctor decide what to give you.”  
  
    Gabriel snorted and force himself to sit up. He groaned, hands holding his neck steady. “What’s our excuse going to be this time? Pretty sure Chavez is tired of our shit.”  
  
    “He still wants me to explain the incident with the omnic.” Jack ran his tongue over his teeth, making sure they were still human.  
  
    “Maybe he thinks you’re a werewolf.”  
  
    Jack rolled his eyes at the joke. Regretted it. He could feel it tug at the muscles behind his eyes. “Doesn’t seem like the type to believe in that.”  
  
    “Who knows.” Gabriel turned so his legs dangled off the bed. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”  
  
    “You sure? I could just bring him here.”  
  
    “Just carry me on your back.”  
  
    Jack sighed but turned around. “Fine.”  
  
    The walk to the med bay was uneventful. Most of the soldiers were still asleep from the party. Jack counted it as another blessing.  
  
    The med bay itself, however, was not nearly as empty. A number of beds were occupied by groaning individuals. The nurses either looked tired or irritated enough to sedate the next person who arrived. Jack was a little to frightened to ask them for help.  
  
    “I was hoping I wouldn’t see you two.” The doctor stepped out of a private room. “Wishful thinking, I suppose.”  
  
    “Glad to see you’re in such a good mood this morning, doc.” Gabriel’s head rested against Jack’s for support.  
  
    Doctor Chavez rolled his eyes. “Hangovers?”  
  
    Jack gave a weak smile. “Sort of. Pretty sure Gabriel injured his neck.” Play the oblivious card. Make it look a little less suspicious.  
  
    The doctor stared at the two of them, eyes slowly narrowing. At one point his gaze flashed down to Jack’s thighs before moving back up.  
  
    Jack wasn’t oblivious to it, but his head hurt too much to think about it.  
  
    “Room six is clear. Wait in there and I’ll send the next available nurse.”  
  
    He could feel Gabriel groan in irritation. He just flashed another smile and got moving. His legs were slowly turning to jello.  
  
    He tried not to dump Gabriel on the bed, but when his boyfriend wouldn’t let go, Jack didn’t have another option.  
  
    “Fuck you.” Gabriel whined and grabbed the pillow before rolling over.  
  
    “Maybe later.”  
  
    “ _Dios mio ya callate_.”  
  
    Jack smiled and sat down. He rubbed his face to alleviate his headache before moving ah and to Gabriel’s neck. His body was overheating. The phoenix at work no doubt.  
  
    “If this is permanent Jack, I won’t forgive you or Ana.”  
  
    “You’ve had worse.” Jack said it as a joke, but his smile fell as his gaze moved to the scar peeking out from under the beanie. His hand trailed down, tugging at the collar of Gabriel’s hoodie to see the ones on his back.  
  
    “Jack.” Gabriel tugged out of his grip. “Stay in the now.”  
  
    Right. “Still thinking about that wing tattoo?”  
  
    “I’ll get one if you get one.”  
  
    “What would I even get?”  
  
    “Get a wolf on your chest.”  
  
    Jack snorted and shook his head. He couldn’t imagine that looking good.  
  
    When the nurse arrived Jack excused himself to find some simple pain killers and some water. Turns out the med bay ran out of anything minor. He’d have to dig around someone’s room.  
  
     _Can you just give me brain freeze?_ He pressed his fingers against his temple. He needed some sunglasses. Or ear plugs. Almost every sound that was normal speaking volume was making his ears hurt.  
  
     _“That would not help.”_ Whitefang’s voice sounded scraggly. The wolf hated alcohol.  
  
    Jack was half tempted to argue until he stepped back into the room. Gabriel pouted on the bed, arms cross, fitted with a neck brace.  
  
    Jack pressed his lips together to keep himself from laughing. “Stuck with the cone of shame I see.”  
  
    “Fuck you.”  
  
    “Maybe–”  
  
    “ _Dios mio ya callate_!” Gabriel sat up straight.  
  
    Jack smirked but didn’t finish the statement. Instead he just held out the water bottle. “How bad is it?”  
  
    Gabriel took it. “Could be worse. Guess she has an easy time fixing fractures or clean breaks, but it’s not all the way there. Gave me this to make sure I don’t make it worse.”  
  
    “They ask about the bruises?”  
  
    “Said I was dancing on a table and fell off.”  
  
    Jack smiled. “Because that’s less embarrassing.”  
  
    Gabriel shrugged and drank some water. “Phoenix came back for a bit.”  
  
    “Yeah? What’d she say?”  
  
    Gabriel frowned, crinkling the plastic under his fingers. “Nothing. She just laughed out loud for ten straight minutes and then went quiet.”  
  
    Jack chuckled. “It is a little funny.”  
  
    “I’m pushing you down the stairs next time.”  
  
    Jack was distracted by his communicator. It was Ana telling him that Reinhardt was making them all breakfast.  
  
    “Think you can make it to Reinhardt’s without losing your dignity?”  
  
    Gabriel snorted and left the water bottle on the counter. He zipped up his hoodie as far as it would go before tugging the hood over his head. It hid some of the brace at least.  
  
    “Let’s go.”  
  
    Jack led the way, thankful most people in the med bay were napping by now. The hall was still as empty as it was earlier. Jack rubbed his temples again and when he lowered his hands he felt his fingers brush against Gabriel’s.  
  
    When Gabriel took his hand he felt a flash of nervousness. He glanced up and down the hall. Still empty. He tightened his grip and stepped closer.  
  
    “War’s over,” he said.  
  
    “Yup.”  
  
    “What now?”  
  
    “You wanna talk about this now?”  
  
    For a moment he thought, yes, he did. He wanted to ask the big question. He wanted to shut down anything else the government or the world had left for him. He wanted to break into a run, drag Gabriel to the hanger, steal a vehicle and never look back.  
  
    His stomach complained. His head ached.  
  
    “No,” he finally said and settled for placing a kiss on the bruised side of Gabriel’s face.  
  
    When they arrived the table was already set up. The lights in the room were low but Ana still had on sunglasses, leaning against her hands. Torbjörn was napping in his chair. Fareeha was helping in the kitchen, a smile on her face.  
  
    “Nice neck brace,” Ana snickered.  
  
    “Shut it. And you better delete that video.” Gabriel didn’t let go of Jack’s hand.  
  
    “I’ll think about it.” She groaned and took another sip of coffee. “Rein has more, and some Tylenol in the kitchen.”  
  
    Tylenol never worked enough for Jack, but he’d take what he could get. He let Gabriel sit down as he went to get them both coffee. He could hear Ana laughing again, loud enough to wake Torbjörn.  
  
    “Good morning, my friend.” Reinhardt kept his voice low. “I hope sausage and eggs is enough.”  
  
    “I’m making bagels.” Fareeha grinned, putting another into the toaster.  
  
    Jack smiled and rubbed her head. “Smells good.”  
  
    “They’re blueberry.”  
  
    “My favorite.” He gave her another pat before returning to the coffee. He filled up two mugs and swallowed down the Tylenol before heading out.  
  
    All three of his friends sat at the table in the same position. Heads resting in their hands. Gabriel perked up when Jack set the coffee down.  
  
    They sat in silence for a while, only the light chatter of Reinhardt and Fareeha filling the room. Jack kept his eyes shut, inhaling the smell of fresh sausage. How much did he even eat last night? With the pain in his stomach he had to assume it wasn’t much. He held his mug in his left hand, enjoying the warmth. Then Gabriel’s fingers suddenly trailed over his, drawing lines on the back of his right hand.  
  
    Just when Jack thought about turning his hand over the contact vanished, only to reappear on the back of his neck. He sighed–almost moaned–as he leaned against the touch. Somehow or another the heat was steadily relieving the pressure in his head.  
  
    “Hey Jackie.” The fingers moved up to his scalp.  
  
    His eyes flittered open as he looked over at Gabriel. His boyfriend had a light smile on his face, gaze fixed on him.  
  
    “Yeah?”  
  
    “I love you.”  
  
    Jack couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Something buzzed in his chest and the tingling spread up to his cheeks. He leaned over and let their foreheads bump together.  
  
    “Love you too.”  
  
    Ana’s snickering quickly ruined the mood. Jack glanced over to see her holding up her phone.  
  
    “Ana.”  
  
    She ignored Jack, “How sweet. Still love him even though he dropped you down the stairs.”  
  
    Gabriel let go and glared. “What? You said I fell down.”  
  
    “You did.” Jack protested.  
  
    “You did.” Ana clarified. “But he dropped you on the way to your room.”  
  
    “Well, gee, no wonder my head _fucking hurts_.”  
  
    “It was an accident!”  
  
    “I’m pushing you down the stairs.”  
  
    “But Gabe–”  
  
    Reinhardt cut the argument short when he arrived with plates of food. He set them down on the table before he went back to get a fresh pot of coffee. Fareeha came in after, plate full of toasted bagels. She had her chest out, clearly proud.  
  
    Then the one on the top wobbled before sliding off and hitting the floor. Fareeha stopped and stared for a moment before responding.  
  
    “Fuck!”  
  
    Torbjörn almost spat out his coffee. Ana groaned. Jack tried not to laugh.  
  
    “Hey,” Gabriel’s voice boomed loud enough to make Fareeha jump. “Who the fuck taught you to swear?”  
  
    Jack couldn’t hold back his laughter. Ana and Gabriel soon joined in. It wasn’t long before the room was filled with it, echoing in his ears.  
  
\-----------------  
  
    Jack chuckled to himself as he leaned back against the sofa. He should ask Ana if she still has that video. Maybe showing it to Jesse would make him feel better. Jack turns his head to listen to his breathing. The cowboy was finally asleep again after his earlier nightmare.  
  
    Jack should make him some breakfast.  
  
    Then his smile fell, despite the laughter echoing in his mind. Despite the good memories of those events. Gabriel’s gentle words in his ears. The constant reassuring touches to tell each other that they were alive. They made it.  
  
    He shouldn’t smile about any of it anymore.  
  
    Because the fourth time around, Gabriel didn’t come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wait, hang on, that ending wasn't funny oh no....... 
> 
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Author's Note:**

> Just... by the way. If you can guess what book series Jack is talking about like, first person to do that I will legit write you a drabble. There is a very specific reason I referenced it.


End file.
